Heartbroken...

Sadly, Brian's grandma passed away this afternoon. Her hospice nurses and family were with her, and she was given medicine for the past day or so to be sure that she was comfortable. I think the hardest part is he memories it brings of my own grandparents. I couldn't see my grandmother when sh fell so ill... I just couldn't handle it... and now I regret not being able to say goodbye. I know she knew and that I prayed for her, but I still wish I had been able to pull it together to be there. I sat with grandma and held her hand last night, letting her know how much we love her.
When my grandma passed away, Jaxon was still too little to really understand. This time, we talked a little about it and he just broke my heart. He cried and said he wanted to see her. Then he starting worrying that I would die... it's just awful. I explained as best I could, but it's hard for anyoe to really understand. I talked a little bit about heaven (which since we don't attend church, it probably made him even more confused) but I think in the end, he felt ok about it. I'm going to go to school tomorrow and will get out my book on grief with children to see if it will help.
We will probably be headed to Kansas this week for the funeral, but I'll keep you posted. Please keep Helen in your prayers...